One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
So many bounce houses so little time
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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