I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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