erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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