TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
