I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
