I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
did you just send me my own nude
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Randomize
