Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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