the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
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