Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Randomize
