Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
