3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
