Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Randomize
