oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
