Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize