HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize