So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
