i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
