I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize