Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize