I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
