So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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