That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
