I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
