Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
