Duck Duck Cougar?
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
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