Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
