im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
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