are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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