im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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