glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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