beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
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He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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