WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
pray to the hookup gods
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
