i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Randomize
