Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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