I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Randomize
