he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
