We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
