she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Randomize
