counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
