We should be called the Road Head Warriors
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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