I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I'm getting married
To pizza
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
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