No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
