if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
