I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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