D3 body, D1 cock
Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
