3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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