I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Randomize
