this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize