i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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