So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
