i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Farmville is her only friend.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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