Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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