im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Enjoy the penises
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
