i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
